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How time flies…

The first weekend Blake came home was the biggest emotional rollercoaster yet!  He was coming home on the Saturday (5th May) but that day was also Family Day so we could go and look round the base etc before we bought him back with us! We drove up on the Friday night and stayed in a Premier Inn somewhere Up North because it’s about a 4 hour drive from here to Catterick and I didn’t fancy that at 5:30 in the morning.  Due to these travelling plans, I went round to Blakes house straight from work on the Friday evening and met his Mum and Dad for the first time in about 6 weeks. Very scary but also exciting. My biggest fear was “what the hell am I going to talk to his parents about for 4 hours in the car”.  I know it sounds silly but to be honest I don’t think i could properly concentrate on Blake coming home so I had to preoccupy my mind with other trivial crap.  I think it may be because I had trained myself not to concentrate on him coming home, so as not to count down the days to much (This makes it seem so much longer).

When we got to Catterick I felt so ill, literally the nerves were unbearable and I needed some fresh air.  We pulled into the car park and I had to try so hard to calm myself down – I was so excited but also nervous. Well a couple of hours later I felt so stupid!!  We were all seated in a large hall to wait for our loved ones to come and meet us.  Then, there he was.  I think I stopped breathing for at least a minute.  He marched over to us with a massive smile on his face and then it came, the bigeest, tightest hug ever.  That’s all I had wanted over the past 5 weeks and now I had it, my boyfriend holding me close and making me feel safer and warmer than I ever had.  When he whispered “I love you” in my ear that was it I just burst into tears.  Don’t ask why, I’m a complete mess sometimes and I can’t help it. As far as I was concerned I had my boyfriend back and for 4 days nothing could take him away from me 😀

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Posted by on 15/05/2012 in Uncategorized

 

Now I have the App

Oh dear,it looks like I haven’t blogged in ages now! It’s true, I haven’t but there is a reason for it. To be honest I haven’t had the time to sit down at a computer and just write something! Life has been so crazily busy that I just haven’t given myself the time to do this. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I finally or an iPhone (thank god) an it was only tonight that I wondered whether they have an App that lets you blog on WordPress…turns out there is one so here I am!

It’s quite late now so I won’t write it all now but instead I will do it whilst on my way to work tomorrow! So much to catch up on and lots of emotional stories to tell 🙂 tell you what though thank Steve Jobs for iPhones because without mine I don’t know how long it would really be until I started blogging again!

See you in the morning guys, watch this space!

 

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Nearly there, almost.

9 Days to go!! We are in single digit countdown now and I don’t think I have ever been so excited about anything in my life!  Maybe Christmas when i was teeny tiny but apart from that I just can’t compare the excitement to anything.  Dont get me wrong it’s not all been so happy, the last couple of days been have been a total bitch!  Blake has been out on exercise again so we all know what that means…no contact!  To be honest though, I don’t get disheartened if he doesn’t call anymore I just think “YUCK this is horrible, but maybe tomorrow.”  I suppose it’s building up a kind of resiliance to it, I’m not sure or maybe it’s just the excitement that takes over and stops me feeling down.  I know now some of you will be thinking ‘just wait til deployment’ and yes I know that will be awful but I haven’t got htere yet so for now all i can write about is what I know.

Last week I met up with one of the #Swagdolls.  For anyone who doesn’t know what the is, it is one of my fellow Military Girlfriends from Twitter.  Bit of a risky move, could have gone awfully wrong and been one of the most awkward moments ever but I tell you what I loved it. Sarah has been in Military relationships and done a couple of tours so she realy knows what she’s talking about.  It is so refreshing to have some confidence instilled in you and be told you are doing well!  She’s fab!  We had a complete laugh and she gave me some seriously good tips too.  It was good as well because I came to learn what to expect from things like Blake going on tour and how he could become afterwards.  The other good thing was that because she has had two different boyfriends in the Military she explained the comparison betwen them with regards to how the relationship evolved and therefore it was not biased but nmore of a “you could expect this, or that”.  Awesome.  What a sweetie too! I can really reate to her and can see us being mates for a rather long time – not just on Twittter either! Lol.

Feeling really nervous now about when Blake comes home.  It sounds silly I know but I think I have been overthinking it a bit.  I find myself questioning how I will react to seeing him for the first time.  Problem is I am going up to Catterick to get him and there are so many questions going through my mind:

1. What the fuck do i wear?!

2. How much excitement is too much?

3. What do i say?

4. Do i act all sensible until we get back home and then become a crazy love struck bitch?

God knows what I am going to do!! I think it is just one of those things that you cannot second guess and I know in my heart that when I get there, it will all come really naturally and I will probably have a complete breakdown and then not stop smiling for the 4 days he is home!  Oh god how exciting.

 

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Quote

Missing someone

Missing someone gets easier everyday because although it is one more day since you last saw them, it is one day closer to the day you will see them again ❤

Missing someone…

 
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Posted by on 16/04/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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I am so excited! 19 days to go!

It has been a while since I have written a post, I have just been making myself so busy!

Anyway, it’s only 19 days to go now until my soldier comes back to me.  Literally cannot wait to see him now.  The contact has been really weird.  On Friday morning he went away on exercise for the first time and came back on Saturday.  Because of this, I didnt hear from him between Wednesday afternoon and Saturday night but I kept myself busy with the girls over the weekend so it wasn’t too bad.  Surprisingly my civvi friends are becoming more and more understanding of the fact he is away and I think they are adapting to the fact he is in the army too.  By that, I mean as soon as he does ring, like on Saturday night, they all shut up immediately, turn the TV off or whatever and let me have the room to myself to talk to my boyfriend.  It’s really sweet!

Anyway Blake said he loved the exercise, apart from Stag, i would have to agree.  That would be the worst part for me too.  Waking up in the middle of the night to keep watch and not speak/eat/sleep or anything. Eurgh yuck!

Yesterday was the best. I know it sounds weird but i prefer it when we text in the evening instead of speaking on the phone, because it goes on for longer and we say so much more.  Last night was perfect because we spoke about loads and it all reminded me of why i love him and how much I love him.

I think when it comes to things like this you have to realise that they are coming back, they are okay and they miss you too.  It’s just a waiting game that’s all.

 

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How does a week feel so long?

Despite actually being 4 days, this weekend has been the longest ever!

Blake has been gone 8 days now, only 3 weeks 5 days left…if only it felt so soon.  Ih ave never known time to go so slowly.  I managed to get a phone call yestrday night, 2 minutes 47 seconds, it made me entire weekend 🙂 Just hearing his voice was completely amazing,. Knowing he is okay made it all worth it 🙂

Right now, there is nobody’s voice I would rather hear more.

So what have I learnt so far?

1. I never realised just how much I loved him to begin with – there’s a phrase isn’t there? “You don’t realise how much you love something until it’s gone” or something like that.  It’s true.

2. I am stronger than I thought -I don’t sit and mope or cry for no reason.  Yes I sit and stare at nothing just thinking about him or constantly go through photos of him jsut to make myself smile.  But that’s ok right?  I did that before he went so no problem there.

3. My family and friends are my angels – without the right people arund you, this job would be impossible.  I love them all.

4. “Me time” is precious and I shouldn’t forget that – It’s good to reflect and think sometimes, over a few glasses of wine is even better 🙂

5. Think more about the way you word things – the little contact we do have is very precious and it is importnat to keep the modd light and happy.  Letters can be for more intimate detail or worries and woes but even then, remember not to moan to the boyfirend!  Big no no!

6. Talking to people going through the same thing definately helps – they are the only people that “get it” even if they are hundreds of miles away.

Just a few helpful things I suppose.   Really not in the mood to write tonnes today 😦  Better day tomorrow 🙂

 

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